She Was Taken

She was taken

We all knew her as the one who would give us what no one else could
We all knew her as the one we asked a favor, we knew she would
Throughout her whole life she had good intentions
She lived freely with a little rebellion
She was greatly loved by us all
She would pick herself up and laugh when she'd fall
She was here for so little time to be gone
That's why I know her ambitious spirit still lives on
She was taken from us on November 18, 2004
We know she was able to walk right through heaven's door
We know she's met with her mother, and they're still hugging
Right beside her mother was Murphy and Cubby
Our love for her still grows strong
Her love for us still glows in our hearts
She made life all you can make it
She had to leave us.
By God's hand, she was taken

Jolie George

Susan Jean Daniels November 18, 2004

From Jane

In the moment before the last moment,
You woke and stretched your arms wide.

In the moment before the last moment,
You gathered hope in your heart and mind.

In the moment before the last moment,
You saw the world and you said,
"Yes, please."

-- Jane L.

I AM GOING TO READ A POEM TO YOU

They say, don't go there. That's a bad neighborhood. Stay Out.
I say, go there.
They say, you can't live there, that's a black neighborhood.
I say, live there.
They say, don't walk alone, don't go by yourself...
I say, walk alone.
They say, live in fear.
I say, live.
They say, stay at home, with your doors locked and your lights on, watchingtelevision.
I say, Take Back the Night.

THIS POEM WAS WRITEN BY MY VERY DEAR FRIEND SUE DANIELS FOR TAKE BACK THE NIGHT A FEW YEARS AGO. SUE CANNOT BE HERE TONIGHT TO READ IT HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WAS KILLED ON NOVEMBER 18 BY A MAN WHO CLAIMED TO LOVE HER.

SUE HAD A DEEP AND INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP WITH HER MURDERER THAT WAS SOMETIMES ROMANTIC AND SOMETIMES NOT ROMANTIC. SUE TOLD HIM THAT SHE NO LONGER WANTED TO BE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH HIM AND HE GREW ANGRY. HE WAS BECOMING SO UGLY TOWARD HER THAT SHE WAS UNCERTAIN HOW SHE WAS GOING TO COPE SHARING THE MANY SPACES WITH HIM THEY HAD IN COMMON DUE TO SIMILAR ACTIVITIES AND FRIENDS. SUE AGREED TO MEDIATION WITH NIK TO SORT THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT HE REFUSED TO RESPECT HER WISH TO LIMIT CONTACT WITH HIM. HE GREW VIOLENT, GRABBING AT HER WHEN SHE TRIED TO LEAVE HIS COMPANY, KNOCKING HER PHONE FROM HER HANDS WHEN SHE TRIED TO CALL A FRIEND FOR HELP, AND SHOWING UP AT HER HOME UNANNOUNCED, REQUIRING ANOTHER FRIEND TO LITERALLY RUN HIM OFF OF HER PROPERTY WITH A TRACTOR.

SUE TOOK A SELF DEFENSE COURSE. SHE ENLISTED FRIENDS TO HELP KEEP HIM AWAY FROM HER IN PUBLIC AND PRIVATE PLACES. SHE HAD A LIST OF US TO CALL IF ANYTHING WEIRD HAPPENED. SHE INQUIRED ABOUT A PROTECTIVE ORDER BUT LEARNED SHE DID NOT QUALIFY FOR ONE BECAUSE SHE WAS NEITHER MARRIED TO HIM OR SHARED A CHILD. HER ONLY OPTION WAS TO HAVE HIM ARRESTED FOR STALKING AND SHE DID NOT WANT TO TAKE THAT STEP. SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT HE WOULD BE OSTRACIZED FROM HIS COMMUNITY AND WAS CONCERNED THAT ACCESS TO HIS COMMUNITY WAS ALL THAT WAS HOLDING HIM TOGETHER. SHE TOLD ME, "I WILL DO THAT THE NEXT TIME HE DOES SOMETHING." THE NEXT TIME WAS NOVEMBER 18.

NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW JUST WHAT TOOK PLACE THE MORNING OF THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 18. ALL WE KNOW IS THAT SUE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN HOME AROUND 12:30. SOME TIME BETWEEN THEN AND 7 AM, NIK WENT TO SUE’S HOME AGAINST HER WISHES, TOOK HER LIFE, BURNED HER HOME WITH HER INSIDE IT, AND HIKED TO THE WOODS BEHIND THE CABIN AND TOOK HIS OWN LIFE.

SUE WAS AN AMAZING HUMAN BEING. SHE LOVED LIFE AND LIVED FOR JOY AND DOING GOOD. AS A FRIEND AND SISTER SHE WAS FIERCE IN HER LOYALTY AND A STAUNCH BELIEVER IN HAVING FUN AND CELEBRATING OURSELVES. SHE WAS A WORLD-CLASS SCIENTIST EARNING A PhD IN BIOLOGY. SHE WAS THE AUTHOR OF MANY, MANY PAPERS AND THE EDITOR FOR SEMINAL WORK IN HER FIELD. HER RESEARCH IMPACTED THE MANAGEMENT AND USE OF OVER A MILLION ACRES OF PINE FOREST IN THE SOUTHEAST REGION OF THE UNITED STATES. SHE WAS AN ACCOMPLISHED SOCIAL ACTIVIST WHO WROTE OFTEN AND ORGANIZED LECTURES, FIELD TRIPS, PROTESTS, AND OTHER EVENTS FOR A VARIETY OF CAUSES RELATED TO SOCIAL JUSTICE. AMONG CAUSES NEAR AND DEAR TO HER HEART WERE WOMEN’S ISSUES, PEACE AND JUSTICE IN LATIN AND SOUTH AMERICA, ABOLISHING THE SCHOOL OF THE AMERICAS, THE ANTI-WAR MOVEMENT, AND MOUNTAINTOP REMOVAL.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DID NOT KNOW SUE, SHE WAS NOT THE SORT OF PERSON YOU WOULD EXPECT TO FALL VICTIM TO THIS KIND OF VIOLENCE. SHE HAD ALL OF THE TOOLS TO SUPPOSEDLY HANDLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS. SHE WAS NOT CASUALLY INTERSTED IN ISSUES PERTAINING TO WOMEN AND VIOLENCE, SHE WAS AN ACTIVIST WITH A VERY SOPHISTICATED UNDERSTANDING OF OPPRESSION.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DID NOT KNOW NIK, I AM SURE MOST OF YOU HAVE FORMED AN IMAGE BY NOW OF THE KIND OF MAN HE MIGHT HAVE BEEN. BUT MOST PEOPLE WHO KNEW HIM WOULD NEVER HAVE SUSPECTED HIM CAPABLE OF THIS KIND OF VIOLENCE. HE WAS A PEACE ACTIVIST, WAS SOFT SPOKEN, A VEGETARIAN DEDICATED TO MAKING THE PLANET BETTER AND SAFER FOR OTHERS. IF HE WERE ALIVE, HE WOULD BE HERE TONIGHT, I AM SURE OF IT, DAMNING VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND ALL WHO PERPETRATE IT.

SO WHAT HAPPENED?

THE FIRST THING THAT I THINK SUE’S STORY TEACHES US IS THAT WHILE A LACK OF KNOWLEDGE CAN CERTAINLY HURT YOU, HAVING KNOWLEDGE WON’T NECESSARILY PROTECT YOU. YOU MUST APPLY IT. I KNOW THAT THERE ARE MANY OF US WHO FEEL THAT WITH OUR INVOLVEMENT AND UNDERSTANDING OF THIS ISSUE THAT WE FAILED OUR FRIEND. PERHAPS IT IS ONLY IN HINDSIGHT THAT WE CAN SEE CLEARLY, BUT NIK HAD AN ALMOST TEXTBOOK ESCALATION OF VIOLENCE AND ANGER AND POSSESSIVENESS THAT OFTEN MARKS THE BEHAVIOR OF SOMEONE WHO WILL KILL AN INTIMATE PARTNER. FRIENDS DID CONFRONT HIM, WE OFFERED SUE A SAFE HAVEN. YOU HEARD SUE’S WORDS WHEN I FIRST APPROACHED THE PLATFORM. SHE BELIEVED IN LIVING HER LIFE WITHOUT FEAR, BUT SHE WAS AFRAID. NIK HAD FOR THE MOST PART BACKED OFF IN THE TWO WEEKS BEFORE HER MURDER, SO I THINK WE ALL HAD A FALSE SENSE THAT HE WAS NO LONGER A SEVERE THREAT. (continued below)

Take Back the Night continued

THE SECOND THING I THINK WE NEED TO FACE SQUARELY IS THAT IF ANYONE IS CAPABLE OF THIS, ANY OF US IS CAPABLE OF THIS. NIK COULD HAVE BEEN STANDING NEXT TO YOU TONIGHT. YOU MIGHT HAVE MARCHED NEXT TO HIM LAST YEAR. SOMEONE ELSE WITH ANGER IN HIS HEART AND A TROUBLED MIND COULD BE STANDING NEXT TO YOU NOW. I THINK NIK’S BIGGEST FAILURE WAS TO NOT RECOGNIZE HIS OWN DEMONS. WE NOW KNOW THAT NIK HAD A MENTAL ILLNESS THAT HE CHOSE TO COPE WITH IN NON-TRADITIONAL WAYS THAT ULTIMATELY MAY HAVE PUSHED HIM TO THE EXTREME AND UNTHINKABLE ACT OF MURDER. BUT UNFORTUNATELY NIK BECAME WHAT HE DESPISED: CONTROLLING AND PATRIARCHAL. SELFISH AND VIOLENT. HE TOOK AWAY SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL FROM ALL OF US. THE LOSS OF SUE WILL BE FELT FOR YEARS IN OUR COMMUNITIES AND IN OUR LIVES.

WE WOMEN NEED TO BE MORE SELFISH AND CAUTIOUS. I AGREE WITH SUE THAT WE DESERVE TO LIVE IN A SAFE WORLD WITHOUT FEAR. I HOPE THAT ALL OF US WILL COMMIT TO DOING WHAT WE CAN TO MAKE THIS WORLD THAT PLACE. IN OUR OWN LIVES, HOWEVER, I NOW THINK THAT WE NEED TO DEMAND THAT THOSE IN OUR CLOSEST SPHERE OF CONTACT SHOW US THAT SAME RESPECT. WOMEN, PLEASE EXAMINE THE RELATIONSHIPS IN YOUR LIFE. DO THOSE CLOSEST TO YOU ALLOW YOU TO BE YOUR BEST? DO THEY VALUE AND CHERISH YOUR STRENGTH? DO THEY ALLOW YOU TO HAVE CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHERS? DO THEY IN ANY WAY TRY TO LIMIT YOUR FREEDOM AND FREE WILL? ALSO, CONSIDER YOUR FRIENDS. HOW DO THOSE QUESTIONS APPLY IN THEIR LIVES? WE CANNOT CONTROL OTHERS AND WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN CHOICES TO MAKE, BUT I AM NOW LIVING WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT I SAW TROUBLE IN MY FRIEND’S LIFE, THAT NOW SHE IS GONE, AND I HAVE TO WONDER IF I DID ALL THAT I COULD. OTHERS HAVE ASSURED ME THAT I DID, BUT THAT QUESTION WILL ALWAYS BE ON MY HEART.

THE LAST POINT I TAKE FROM THIS IS THAT WE ARE A COMMUNITY THAT HAS A HARD TIME ACCEPTING THE REALITY THAT THOSE WHO ONCE LOVED COULD KILL. WHEN SUE’S HOME WAS BURNING, HER CAR WAS ON THE PROPERTY, NIK’S CAR WAS ON THE PROPERTY, A LARGE CLUMP OF HAIR WAS LYING NEXT TO A BLOODY NOTE ON THE FRONT SEAT OF HIS CAR AND HER CLOSEST FRIENDS WERE GIVING TESTIMONY TO THEIR TROUBLED AND FRIGHTENING RELATIONSHIP, THE AUTHORITIES INVESTIGATING THE EVENT STILL FOUND IT MORE PALATABLE TO BELIEVE THAT SUE AND NIK HAD RECONCILED AND TRAVELED TOGETHER IN A THIRD AND NON-EXISTENT CAR. WHILE A PIECE OF PAPER WOULD NOT HAVE PROTECTED SUE FROM NIK’S INTENTIONS, IF SHE HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO FILE A PROTECTIVE ORDER THEN PERHAPS THE POLICE WOULD HAVE HAD A PIECE OF EVIDENCE THAT FIT THEIR PROCEDURES SO THAT WE WOULD NOT HAVE LOST DAYS LOOKING FOR THEM AND WONDERING WHERE THEY WERE AND IF SUE WAS OK. AS IT TURNS OUT, TWO DAYS AFTER THE FIRE, A GROUP OF FRIENDS FRUSTRATED WITH THE INACTIVITY OF THE LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT WENT TO SUE’S HOME TO LOOK FOR CLUES AND FOUND NIK’S DEAD BODY. NONE OF US WERE TRAINED — PERHAPS IT WAS BEGINNER’S LUCK — BUT WITHIN THREE HOURS OF OUR ARRIVAL WE FOUND NIK’S BODY A FEW HUNDRED YARDS BEHIND HER CABIN AND A TRAIL OF TORN PAPER LEADING TO IT. THANKFULLY AT THAT POINT WE WERE ABLE TO PERSUADE THE INVESTIGATORS TO CALL IN THE REINFORCEMENTS OF THE APPALACHIAN SEARCH AND RESCUE VOLUNTEERS WHO LAUNCHED A FULL-SCALE SEARCH FOR SUE AND HAD REMAINS FOUND IN THE CABIN REEXAMINED BY ARCHAEOLOGISTS TO FINALLY DETERMINE THEM TO BE HUMAN. THE FIRST EXAMINATION DETERMINED THEM TO BE ANIMAL. IT TOOK THREE DAYS OF SEARCHING AND WONDERING ABOUT SUE’S WELFARE BEFORE WE KNEW THAT THE REMAINS FROM THE CABIN WERE HUMAN. I HAVE NEVER FELT SO HELPLESS AND USELESS AS I DID THE FOUR NIGHTS BETWEEN SUE’S CABIN BURNING AND THAT DETERMINATION AS I WENT TO BED IN MY WARM HOME AND OWN BED WITHOUT KNOWING IF MY FRIEND WAS ALIVE AND SUFFERING IN THE COLD NIGHT SOMEWHERE.

WE HAVE MANY PEOPLE TO REACH WITH OUR VOICES TONIGHT. I THINK THAT WE OFTEN THINK OF TELLING PERPETRATORS AND POTENTIAL PERPETRATORS THAT WE STAND AGAINST THEIR VIOLENCE, BUT WE HAVE MANY PEOPLE TO EDUCATE THAT WE AS A COMMUNITY ACKNOWLEDGE THIS VIOLENCE, THAT WE ARE WORKING TO END IT, AND THAT WE EXPECT RESPECT, TRAINING, UNDERSTANDING AND RESOURCES TO BE DEDICATED TO IT. WE NEED TO RAISE OUR VOICES TO LET THOSE SUFFERING KNOW THAT WE CARE ABOUT AND SUPPORT THEM. WE NEED TO SHOUT SO THAT THOSE IN A POSITION TO DO THE RIGHT THING WILL. AND IN SUE’S HONOR, IN HONOR OF ALL OF THE OTHER VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE, THE SURVIVORS, THEIR LOVED ONES, AND ALL OF US, WE NEED TO BEAR WITNESS AND TAKE BACK THE NIGHT.